The Goose To Your Maverick: Being The Best Wingman

He’s got your back, he’s there for you when you need him, he’ll take care of you when you’re having a bad night, and he’ll help you achieve your goals. Okay, at first glance it might sound like I’m describing a husband or a father, but no. This is a wingman. Through and through, the best wingman is there to help you. Getting over a break-up, looking for a fun night, just wanna get outta the house for a while, the wingman’s got your back. But being the best wingman you can be is no small order. There are many types of wingmen out there, including (but not limited to):

The Show Stealer - The job of the wingman is to place most of the focus on your friend. The main rule of being a wingman: it’s not about you. Unfortunately, The Show Stealer doesn’t always get this memo, and will sometimes, often inadvertently, hog all of the attention for themselves. Now, having said that, the role of wingman is transferable. Some nights it’s him, some nights it’s you, but when it’s you, you’ve gotta put your ego aside and direct all of the attention towards him.

The Introvert - This wingman is one to avoid. The Introvert often refuses to go out and would rather stay in and have a nice quiet night. While that’s perfectly fine for most nights of the week, when your bud invites you out on a Saturday night, you’ve gotta put aside your own wants and be a good wingman for him, because if there’s one thing worse than having an introverted wingman, it’s having no wingman at all.

The Storyteller - This wingman knows how to spin a story. What they say is always jaw-dropping, the people who listen can’t focus on anything else, and his stories are just so captivating and entertaining… are they true? Almost never, but the point is that they’ll grab the attention of anyone nearby. A good Storyteller knows how to craft a story that draws the attention of people in the bar, without going so overboard as to being completely unbelievable. If you want to seem like some sort of celebrity for a night, The Storyteller is a great wingman to go out with.

The In-Your-Debt - Maybe you saved his life, or his pet’s life. Maybe you got him out of a jam, paid off his loan, helped him save the world. Whatever the fabricated story you two have come up with, the general plot line is that you’ve done something so terrific for this wingman that they have absolutely nothing but praises for you. This matters because no other wingman will enhance how great f a guy you are than The In-Your-Debt wingman. This wingman is not to lie about anything, but they will do their damndest to make you the coolest, nicest, bravest version of yourself. You have the hard part of actually delivering.